So A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum…
Just finished watching my latest Netflix movie, It’s Kind Of A Funny Story. And ya know…it is kind of a funny story. How the main character felt is almost exactly how I felt in high school. I mean there couldn’t be anything wrong with me…I couldn’t be depressed. What reason did I possibly have? I realize now of course, on the other side looking back, that my friend April was right and I probably should have gotten some help. But I made it through…it was rough sometimes but I made it. And it wasn’t like I didn’t, or don’t have people to talk to. It’s more like I was raised not to hand off my problems to someone else. I mean, life doesn’t deal out anything I can’t handle right? I was always treated like I was smarter, and more put together but the truth was I always felt like it was a thin fragile little shell that I was balancing and dropping one little thing would lead to this huge cycle of failure and disappointment in me.
Now, of course, thanks to certain people who helped me throw off the zombie I had become and be a person again, and a couple of years of hardcore shyness slaughtering thanks to debate I actually have a face to present to the world instead of a facade. And more than that I think everyone around me recognizes that I move in a little circle of my own power instead of hanging onto the edges of other people like I always used to. I always envied the jocks, and the preppy kids in high school because it seemed like they were so confident and together for the most part, but I have a feeling that was all a lie kind of like mine was. It’s good to have come to a place where I actually am confident in my own abilities, and can find self motivation enough to actually WANT to get out and do things.
My bro, Paul posted a song on his Facebook tonight saying it was going through his head and it was such a blast from the past I have to share it with you. It kind of fits my mood tonight.
“I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down…”
So, it’s kind of a funny story…being reminded of how much I have changed from the kid I was. I can still remember everything if I try…and when I was depressed I cursed my memory because it was like raking my heart over hot coals. But that time of my life also taught me how to deal with sadness, and pressure, and stress so now I know that no matter what life brings, I will always be okay.
What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger, right?
Anyway, sorry for the sad stuff tonight, that movie got me thinking about the past. Tomorrow lookout for another game I really want! See you then!